For several days now, I’ve been trying to come up with a suitable subject for my first post here on my newly redesigned writing site. After a break of many years, I couldn’t decide how I wanted to re-introduce myself and set out what I was hoping to accomplish here in the coming weeks and months.
Beginning in the summer of last year, I began to feel the urge to take my writing in a different direction. I started my homemaking blog in April of 2008 and gradually preparing and writing posts took over much of my creative writing time. It had permeated into almost every area of my life as I sought to provide informative and interesting ideas to a growing audience of readers.
Yet as much as I love working on those projects and writing for Super Mom – No Cape, more and more I’ve felt the need for… well… for more. I didn’t want to quit writing posts for my homemaking blog but at the same time there were things that I wanted to write about, things I wanted to share that I didn’t feel I could comfortably share there.
And so I asked our son, web designer, Jordan Flemming, if he would revamp and redesign my writing site complete with a new blog where I could explore this growing need I had to take my writing in new and previously unexplored directions.
I’m afraid I wasn’t a very good client and it took me longer than I care to admit to give him the information he needed to be able to proceed with the redesign. Eventually he was able to take my vague descriptions of the “feel” I wanted for my new writing space and turn it into reality.
With this beautiful new site complete, it was time for me to begin the next phase of my writing journey and then suddenly I was hesitant to make that first step out into that new world.
Then recently as I was reading through the file that holds some of the poetry I’ve written over the years, I came across this poem I wrote back at the end of the year 2000.
By Susan Flemming
© December 2000
When I’m an old woman
And you look back,
Back on my life,
Will you see I was more,
Much more than mother and wife.
Try to look past,
Try just this once
To see beauty within.
Many roles did I play
Niece, sister, aunt
Yet still I was more
More than these labels we flaunt.
To my dear husband,
Through seasons and years
I was lover and friend
From spring into winter
On me, he could always depend.
To babes, toddler, adolescent
Those years did I give
Freely of love, tender care
Teen through to adulthood
For them, did my best to be there.
Yet in worlds that I made
As writer, teller of tales
Among angels I have flown
Yes, this is the woman
To only a few was made known
Do you not see?
The fire that burned inside
Dreams, a need to explore
Adventure, flights of fancy
Yes, I was more, always more.
That poem was written at a wonder filled time of my life. My husband, Dave had recently retired after 25 years in the Canadian army. We had just moved to Maui and our family was beginning a grand adventure of experiencing life in the Islands. We would live there for the next four years until heading off on our next adventure but during that time it would become home of our hearts.
I personally, was experiencing a spiritual awakening that completely changed the way I looked at and lived in this world.
As I read that poem, I realized that by expanding my writing to new horizons, I am also reaching back; back to rediscover the woman who wrote it.
While living in Maui, I learned about a Hawaiian tradition called Talk Story; the sharing between friends and family of the stories of their lives, past and present.
I invite you to journey with me as I talk story with you over the coming days.
I wish you a heart-centered day with much Aloha. A hui hou. (Goodbye, until we meet again.)